Putting Yourself in Their Shoes

As a psychic reader, a big part of my job is to feel what the client is feeling, so it always starts with putting myself in their shoes. We hear this phrase constantly, and it is a piece of advice passed down so often that it can easily feel like a cliché. However, when practiced intentionally, stepping into someone else’s experience is one of the most powerful tools we have for building genuine human connection.

Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes means practising deep, compassionate empathy. It is the active choice to temporarily set aside your own worldview to understand, feel, and honour another person’s unique life experiences, struggles, and beliefs. This mental exercise allows us to better understand how someone else feels, or why they make certain decisions. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with their choices or alter your own values. Instead, it is about creating the mental space to observe someone else’s reality without immediate judgement.

What often gets overlooked is how quickly we default to interpretation instead of understanding. The mind tends to fill in gaps almost instantly—we see behaviour, tone, or silence and attach meaning to it based on our own experiences. Yet those interpretations are rarely complete. They are shaped by our own emotional lens in that moment, not the full reality of the other person’s life. Learning to recognise this shift alone can change the quality of how we relate to others.

When we actively seek to understand where another person is coming from, our day-to-day interactions completely shift. We gain a level of insight that naturally helps us become more patient, supportive, and grounded in our relationships. Suddenly, a frustrating interaction with a colleague or a misunderstanding with a loved one stops feeling like a personal friction point. Instead, we are able to recognise the unseen weight they might be carrying. We begin to understand that everyone is navigating their own complex history—shaped by a lifetime of events, pressures, and circumstances that we may know nothing about.

Many of the challenges people face are not immediately visible. Stress, grief, family responsibilities, health concerns, financial pressures, and personal struggles often exist beneath the surface. The person who appears distant may be emotionally exhausted. The person who seems impatient may be carrying a burden that has nothing to do with the situation in front of them. Remembering this can help us respond with greater compassion and understanding, even when we don’t have the full picture.

While we may never fully understand another person’s experience, making the effort to do so can strengthen relationships, reduce unnecessary conflict, and create deeper human connection. Sometimes, the simple act of trying to understand someone else’s perspective can completely change the way we relate to them. The next time you find your patience being tested, take a step back, pause your own narrative, and consider the view from their shoes.